Wednesday, 14 August 2013

To whom It may concern,

You there,
Do you know the first thing about love? You were too insecure when I first met you. I changed all that. Made you feel beautiful. Made you feel important. I loved you. Every way I could, even more. Do you see the way I hurt at all? My hyper ventilation. See the way I'm struggling to breathe. See the way I'm struggling to live. Only because you act the way you do. Selfish. Stupid and Ignorant. You act like you don't know when you stab my heart, you act like you cant hear my deafening screams each time you wander off with any boy, just anyone who gives you just a little attention. You know these boys and all they are searching for is a little fun. You tell me about your dreams to be a wild one. You're foolish enough to tell me to wait for you to let you wander off into the kind of life your heart yearns for. And I'm more foolish that I actually consider your offer. I have loved you to foolishness. Ive been everything you needed me to be and more. And yet when I need you. When I need you to just understand. You become cold and distant. My darling, do you know the first thing about love? It is selfless. It is giving. It is forgiving. That was why I forgave you every time and everything . But then we always find ourselves back at that place where I'm hurting again because you want to live whilst your young. You like the other boys that claim to like you. I endure the pain. I just watch you flirt the way you do. Shamelessly with them. Its long becoming insulting. Like I don't exist. I almost gave up on my life. Because I loved you. You made me question my worth. Whether I was enough human to live. Whether I was enough man for you. Now I'm just afraid. Of the way I kill myself for you. I fear I maybe stupid enough to wait for you. Maybe now I'm just angry. That I fell in love with the devil. You are a devil because you know what you are doing and you do it anyways. My young ignorant girl, you know nothing about love. But let me teach you one thing. Never rubbish the feelings of the one person in the world who genuinely loves you. Because at the end I'm all you really have. You're pushing me away. And all your boyfriends, they like the weather will pass. And at the end all you will be is cold, lonely and sad.

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