Wednesday, 23 December 2015


How do you know the one?
What sign is the universe supposed to give so you know
Your soul mate,
Destinies intertwined. Fates to become one
That this person will always love you.
Always understand
Never leave you.

That this person will not fall out of love with you
Bola didn't know what that meant till her husband for 22 years told her he didnt love her anymore and he had fallen in love with another woman.

That this person will not become your abusive husband.
Sara finally got the courage to leave her husband,  showing up at her parents' sometime after midnight, swollen faced in torn clothes sobbing out two years of domestic violence.

That this person will not make you feel like nothing, undesirable nothing.
Irene knew her husband chased younger girls. She now weighed 3 times more and wore big unattractive clothes to hide her tummy folds. It had been years since her husband touched her or even wanted her in that way. But she wasn't the same person in their wedding photo that hung on the wall of the living room.

That this person will not make you see love differently, smaller than what it is.
"You shouldn't show you care so much, it's the number one rule of the love game" Anita advised her heartbroken friend.

That this person won't make you pretend that you are happy and what it is love just because the truth is too painful and the loneliness unbearable.

Wednesday, 9 December 2015


I hope your boyfriend isn't a philanthropist. Boyfriend to the boyfriendless. A listening ear to their many problems. a shoulder for them to cry all their lonely tears on.

I hope you will not end up loving someone who will leave you. Someone who will dizzy you such that anyone after him will seem like a shadow and love will become that bitter regret.

I hope you don't grow up witnessing your mother live in a loveless marriage. I hope your heart doesn't break looking at her ever sad eyes and her feeble attempts at smiling. I hope you are unaware you are the reason she is sacrificing her happiness.

I hope you do not look at your life, years from now and feel like shit. I hope you will be able to forgive yourself for all the wrong decisions you made in the name of love, the careless ones you made because you were tired of being lonely.

I hope you grow up scared of men, their sex and their semen.

The man is the boy with intense eyes that told you he loved you, the one whose stares were so hot you got nervous and fidgeted with your sweaty palms. The man is the boy who made your heart flutter and your eyes dreamy. The man is the boy who made you smile a lot, who made you hope. The man is the boy who left you after you bared your soul to him, the one who made living unbearable.

Their sex is his penis, standing like a sharp weapon, ready to tear your woman space. Their sex is his sweaty voice in your ear, telling you - "just the tip", "i'll be gentle", "i want you so much right now". Their sex is the deafening pain you feel when he puts more than the tip inside. Their sex is his violent thrusts despite your tears, pleading and feeble attempts to push him away.

Their semen is morning sickness, weight gain and a stomach the size of a pumpkin. Their semen is a big round secret under your dress that can not be hidden. Their semen is disappointed parents, your yelling father and your crying mother. Their semen is stopping school because the principal thinks you are a bad example. Their semen is leaving church because you can not deal with the judgemental stares. Their semen is housing another human inside you, their semen is labour pain, your baby splitting your body open to come out. Their semen is a crying baby, money for baby things, raising a child by yourself.