Friday, 31 August 2012

Last Day of August

Life is hard to understand. Love is harder to understand. The hardest is the people. I am quite confused when it comes to such emotional issues. People change and so do their feelings. I mean, I don’t understand why people that have been together for three years and then they break up. Come so far and throw it all away like the other person meant nothing to you. I don’t understand how at a time there would be so much love and all of a sudden no love anymore and most of them don’t even talk anymore. Its funny how one minute you are convinced you are in love, and the next you cannot stand the person anymore. I wonder whether people carry these their wavering indecisions to their marriages. No wonder marriages never last these days. I wonder how broken these people are in the midst all this.
Its heart breaking that people can do anything so that they are not alone. They do soo much to keep a person. You forgive someone so much not just because you want to but you need someone to hold you, love you, even if its fake. You let someone take advantage of you in everyway just because you convince yourself you love that person and cannot bear the person leaving you. I mean, what’s wrong about being lonely. You go into the wrongest relationships with people who do not give a shit about you because you are scared of being alone as if it is a disease…then when what you have feared becomes of you, you are not only alone but broken as well. Cool combination huh? I don’t know why I’m venting., maybe its because I keep seeing people acting foolish like this it gets irritating.
But then just as people are tired of being lonely, others are so scared of being hurt so they runaway from love. When you have lost so much, when the emptiness becomes of you and you are used to the silence within. You like the loneliness, the emptiness. Then you become afraid of what is normal and the idea of being happy becomes scary. You cut away from feeling and runaway from love. You deeply yearn for it but then love has become a stranger and you are more comfortable to be with what’s familiar, the hurt, the void, the loneliness. You become a ghost, a shadow that lingers in the world of the living. These are the people that are scared of living. Of loving.
Everyone wants to be happy. Just that people have their different ways of achieving that happiness. No one wants to be hurt its just that life itself, is so unfair. It never gives us what we want or what we convince ourselves we need. It leaves us needy and sad and when we have managed to create some little happiness for ourselves, it rips it out of our hands. It likes us sad, lonely, almost depressed and cold. It loves the tears we shed, the emptiness within, makes us desperate to settle for anything. We all want a perfect relationship, happiness and sunshine and love brings all of that. In conclusion, Love makes life worth living.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

I did this for Bimbo's blog. Wannid her to know what I do everyday these days ^_^

My daily routine
On the black couch
curled up sweetly
or with legs almost up in the sky
in the deserted living room in the house
is where you find me
away from the noise of human activity,
the cries and laughter of the children,
or my screaming confused thoughts,
still holding a novel i was reading
with an invincible DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging close by
engulfed in nothingness
where i see nothing
feel nothing
here i slip in and out of conciousness
unaware of times race
romancing sleep.