Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Too Thirsty to be Proper (Part 2)

I head to the airport by 11:30 for my 1 o'clock flight. The long drive to the Abuja airport is soothing, calming. One of the reasons, I wouldn’t live anywhere else in Nigeria. I like the calm. I’m trying to drift to sleep; it would be at least 45 minutes before I get to the airport. I flip open the pages of my novel, grab my phone and the text you
         Me: "Lagos soon boo", I delete the o's from boo.
         You: Safe b, expecting you *hug smiley*
 The 1 hour flight is much too long and awkward. I hate air travel. Land travelling is my niche, staring at the landscape, digesting the calm. The road could tell many stories. I would stare for hours, wondering what people took the road before me, their stories, those who ended here. It was always a sober affair. Air travel was different, the plane I’m always afraid of. All I ever think about is the gruesome past, where I opened the paper to news of many of my mates, dying, burned by fire. I say a silent prayer. I get on board chewing gum meticulously, it stops my air sickness. The elderly man in grey who sits beside me is fascinated by my Helen Oyeyemi book, Mr. Fox; I offer him a polite smile shutting the book. I'm in no mood for conversations. I put my headphones selecting my Miguel playlist; (his voice sounds like sex). I lay back, trying to relax. The seat belt is discomforting. I keep repeating in my head “it’s only an hour”.
I try to fall asleep; hopefully, I’ll sleep through the flight. I let my mind wander to some night that will never happen. We’re in your room, home alone watching some horror movie. I hate horror movies, I can’t stand them, and I detest their morbid scenarios. Yet I choose horror so I can clutch tight in fear. I just like to cling so close that I can take in your musky bvlgari scent.
You smile tilting your lips to one side, I love when you do that "this movie is torturing you why do you even attempt to watch it" You turn the tv off.
You drag my hands up to your lips and kiss it playfully. I’m smiling like an idiot, you kiss my lips, I can’t speak, and I’m too busy muzzling the sound in my throat. I kiss you back softly, rhythmically, then getting violent. Your hands are travelling up my thighs gently.
"We will be landing in MMA 2 in 5 minutes" the pilots deep shrill voice interrupts my fantasy “Flight attendants, prepare for landing please.”
“Cabin crew, please take your seats for landing.”
I smile at the olive skinned air hostess that passes by. Packing my ipod and purse into my bag, I brace myself for landing.
Landing was smoother than I expected. At least I’m still alive. I text you again
       Me: "b, I’m in Lagos *dancing smiley*
        You: *Many dancing smileys* I'll pick you up, I’m already on my way to school
                   You’ll wait for me?
I smile to myself stupidly to myself, I’m tempted to dance. I’ll wait 5 minutes to reply, can’t seem too desperate. I waited 4.
        Me: Ok I guess, it’ll will save me cab money *large smile smiley*
                Don't make me wait long
        You: lol, yes ma, give me 10 minutes
I dance a well-rehearsed azonto on the inside.
You come out of your black Volkswagen car, half strutting. I renew my love for black all over again. The car is black and sleek, something you see in an advert. You blink your eyes a bit, shading your eyes from the sun. I’m not sure if you don’t see clearly or if it’s part of your cool act. Your eyes stray all around and settle on me smiling. I’m watching you walk towards me, thinking of how best to position my face. I attempt a smile before you plant a kiss on my fore head lock me in your hold
“I’ve missed you bad” you said, squeezing me too tight.
Your hug is much too tight but I feel my body relax, taking in that familiar scent, I try not to moan. In my mind my alter ego is doing something braver, kissing you passionately saying I love you.
As for me I said “you’re trying to kill me with your hug” then “I missed you too” in a lower tone.
I never want to let you go. It’s more than a hug. I feel pleasure shoot through my body and my female parts moisten. I felt your hard chest like they were directly against my nipples. I'm trying so hard to coordinate myself here.
You smile again letting me go “Lets head to school”
The journey was a blur, talking about insignificant events, avoiding any real emotions. How Lagos traffic is horrible, how Abuja clubs are boring, how awesome Lagos nightlife is. We drove towards school chatting all the way. We were happy or at least I was.
School was just as I left it the tall buildings with cream walls, carpet grass well cut. I was hoping it would change a bit, I don’t know. In honour of its loss, that I had left it, but it didn’t weep for me. Nothing changed. I buzzed round exchanging pleasantries and stories with my ex-classmates, many of us had not changed, many had changed much.
The evening went by fast, it was 9pm before I realized. My bags were in your car, I didn’t know where you were. Your girlfriend I remembered with a pang, oh well. I dialled your number
“It’s late, where are you?” I could hear the needy emotions in my own voice
“My stuff is in your car” I added quickly, I didn’t want to sound like a nagging wife
“Ohh, yeah,” he said happily, he sounded almost drunk, probably drunk on love from his girlfriend
“I’m sorry, I’m at the hotel, just beside the school gate, and I’m lodging there tonight”
I almost slap him through the phone “and my load?”
“I can’t stand their mediocre accommodation the school life offers” he continues playfully “I could bring your load over, where are you sleeping”
Awkward pause
“My room is cosy” he continues
I laugh loudly “I’m staying in the hotel too, will call you when I get there. I’ll stop at Ikeja and pick up a whore for you”
“no I want you” I can almost hear the smirk on his face
“see you in a bit” I press end
The hotel is packed full, not too full to run out of rooms. I’m sighing on the inside, would have been such a perfect excuse to sleep your room. You dropped my bag and lingered. You wanted to stay, I wanted you to stay. None of us wanted to speak out, to ask, to become the more vulnerable one. You left. Saying you had to do something, I didn’t hear what, I was weeping on the inside.
12:15am, I’m still up the air conditioner is set at its highest, I'm wrapped under the duvet, holding open my Mr. Fox book. I don’t want to think about you, not now. You’re with your girlfriend, having a good time. I shut the book and listen to Lana Del Rey. I resolved to be strong, I deserve better than someone’s boyfriend. I recite the whole book of lies to myself
You called, in a deep low voice said “why are you not asleep”
I listen carefully to the background, no moaning girlfriend, and no other voices. Silence.
“Your room is so quiet” I finally reply
 “I’m coming over, let’s do something fun” you’re talking fast “I’m bored” you added
“yeah of course” I said throwing off my hair net
I rushed to the mirror, checking the angles on my face. I had no makeup on. My eyes were still very dark. I put my finger through my hair, scattering it. Perfect.
My heart is beating now. I'm restless and nervous at the same time. I half want to tell you not to come. I would do something stupid, I could feel it.
You knocked twice “midnight booty call”
I opened the door laughing “I only have coins for you today”
“No worries” you said passing by into the room “I’ve worked for less”
We both giggle happily
"I brought some weed" you whisper in my ear, a bit too close. I’m uncomfortable now. I’ve always been proper, I’ve never smoked weed.
“Don’t be a bore, let’s smoke a joint” you’re still whispering, you bite my ears playfully. I ease up, at this very moment I would sniff cocaine if you wanted us to.
I nod “just this one time” and it was, I never got high, too clumsily puffing the smoke away. What did I know about weed? Whatever. I doubt you got high too, You lit it up and inhaled deeply, closing your eyes. I don’t remember clearly, it was all so funny. You rolled on the bed towards me, your breathe tickling my skin. Your lips pulled at my right ear. My heart sang warning songs, blowing sirens to leave. I ignored it. You were so close. Close enough to feel my racing heart. I wasn’t thinking. All I knew was that I wanted you.
Maybe, I was high. I'm not an expert at smoking weed. I just tried not to disappoint you. I felt reckless, a bit beyond reckless. Shameless maybe. My body shamelessly wrapped around yours. Your lips stayed on mine for a minute, and then trailed down to my neck. I was mumbling senselessly, looking for the word “stop”. You found this amusing. Smiling and kissing the nape of my neck. You tuck my weave behind my ears, looking right in my eyes. Your hazel eyes seem to pierce through me. Seeing me unhinged by need fueled you.

I could not breathe. I was gasping for air, like a drowning man. Drowning in desire. Somehow I forgot to breathe. It was just the way I saw it in my head. Even better. Maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe it’s the weed. I was moaning your name. The weed has managed to cloud my sense of reasoning.  I don’t remember to be proper. I don’t even think, your cold hands are under my shirt, the big one which says I love London, I love you more. You pull my shirt up, sucking my nipples my legs are still wrapped around you, “stop..” I managed to whisper. Not loud enough, you’re stroking my thighs. I'm holding onto you now, moaning uncontrollably, a bit too loud. I cannot remember how you managed to get my shirt off; it was all I had on. But I remember how you bit my nipple softly, that made me shiver in pleasure and my fingers dig into your back. I loved what I saw in your eyes. I wanted that moment to freeze, a permanent picture in my head of the desire in them. You wanted just me at the moment, and in that moment it was enough. You pulled me closer, The Weeknd was playing in the background.. I felt you inside of me, slowly, up and down, then gently. I bit my lips so I wouldn’t cry. You were gentle and aggressive at the same time, going in deeper and deeper till we fitted perfectly, together, tightly like hair braids. You were big. Big enough to bring that pleasure pain. You knew how to make my body dance. I whined and grinded to your rhythm with you inside me. You scream-moaned my name and rolled over beside me. We both laughed.

1 comment:

  1. whaaat!! i thoroughly enjoyed this!! where have you been????