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I am learning to find happiness in the silliest of things. I am learning to be deaf. To be ignorant of the voices inside and outside of my head. To build a huge wall around my heart to protect it from breaking over and over again. To refuse to let people’s feelings of me become one with my feelings of myself. To imagine the smell of flower and the ocean so I don’t smell the burning food in kitchen. To let my worries burn so that the tension in my muscles would cease. To dance to the music inside, let my hair down and live not just exist. Be myself through and through, not living through another’s eyes or living a life that is not mine. I am learning to laugh through the bitterness and the sadness. Call the bluff of my many fears. They cannot eat me up unless I let them to. I'm learning to sing the song of the birds that soar in the skies, their free spirits released into the white and blue clouds of the heavens. I am learning to cry out loud, letting the world see my tears so they know I'm as human as they are and I bleed red too. I am learning not to run away anymore, to embrace both the light and the darkness, leap into the unknown, explore this dark forest called life so I  don’t miss the beautiful secret garden that lies beyond