Wednesday, 8 May 2013

The Search for Hope?

Look for hope. Tell her I miss her. Tell her I need her to come back and that I'm ready to believe this time. Ask her if indeed the sun shines brighter on the other side. And there are lots of green grass? Tell her I'm tired of the suffering. and my heart is heavy with grief. Tell her I need a friend and someone to hold my hand and my heart. To stop it from breaking again. It keeps falling and breaking like fine china, I don't know why. Tell her I hate the color of my skin, it symbolizes everything bad. Hardship. Hunger. Strife. Life is hard, but the life of a black man is harder. Tell her the sun here fries souls, roasts them like chicken till they are crispy enough for the devil to eat. Tell her I am  tired of this wickedness. Tell her people kill, cheat, lie and deceive. No one is content. There is no love. Tell her I am afraid and sometimes I want to run away but to where? This is my home. Tell her my face is wrinkled with sadness and worry. And I mourn each month for the pain that comes with my feminine curse is heavy. I am now a bag of bones, frail and wounded by Life. Tell her I've lost faith somewhere in the middle of all this. And the bond with my creator is gone. Tell her I hardly talk to Him anymore. That I am angry with Him for all my misfortunes. Tell her to come back to me. That I am lonely, cold and empty inside without her. Tell her death has refused to take me. He has left me to suffer as living is much worse. Tell her to come home to me.Teach me to smile again, to fill the void inside inside and give me will as strong as steel so that I wont be easily broken again. Tell hope I am ready to believe, that she should come open my eyes so that I can see how beautiful tomorrow can become. Tell her ive been looking for her and its cold outside. Tell her I love her and its time for her to come home to me.

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