Monday, 30 July 2012

A new life for the drifter

 It was magical, every single time. Being held in his hands, being kissed so passionately, the feel of his fingers on my skin, his hands on my breasts, his hands cupping my butt, his hands were everywhere on my skin, touching, feeling. The feel of his body next to mine. I could feel him envelope me. I felt loved. The tingling sensation was divine. I moaned out loud as his mouth suckled on one of my already aroused nipples….
And suddenly I’m in class once more. Facing Miss Potts’s boring geography class. Alicia had stoned me in the head with her pencil. I looked at her and scowled. “You were gone again you idiot” she whispered. Yes I was a terrible drifter. Going off any second of any day. It made everyone so pissed. Mother would knock me hard on the head. Alicia found it very funny and a source of amusement. None of them understood. I daydream often cos Id rather be in the imaginary world I made for myself than here. My real life sucked so bad. I see it as my responsibility to put the ugly pieces of my life together and make it beautiful again. So I loathe reality. I love fairytales cos they’r real in my world. Castles. Dragons. Princes.  Fantasies put that smile you see on my face each morning.
Miss Potts was rather plump and boring so Id always drift away in her class. Today was no exception. She was quite stern though. Punishing us for her very very sad life. Before, she was cool with a noisy class that paid her no attention where she’d teach just herself. Till the day she exploded. Ahhh. Things hadn’t been the same after that. Now she gives us some test and I’m staring at the questions which I do not recognize at all. I groan out loud. I really do not want to fail this course. I look round and watch everyone scribble something down in their papers. I start my poor drawings of butterflies on mine. I want to seem busy too. I do not know when I drift off again…
The cameras and their blinding lights. The lights hit me immediately I got out of my limo. My body guards trying to wad off the desperate press with their many insane questions. My hands were consumed in diamonds, my long hair was let loose, it was red here. Thick and full. My dress was simple and black. Classy and Elegant. Fans were swarming around like bees. Yes. I was important. I got into the massive building. I caught my reflection in the glass doors. I stopped and stared at the girl I saw. She was extremely beautiful. She was me.
“Pamela White!” I heard Miss Potts’s stern voice say. Nabbed. She was staring down at me with her “am not pleased” eyes. I heard the giggles and the sneering sounds from the rest of the class. I went red in embarrassment. She took my paper and stared angrily at my stupid drawings. “You understand that you are doing quite poor in this course Pamela. Surely you do not want to fail.” she said nothing more and passed by. I was hopeless. The bell went off and I succeeded in writing nothing. Mother was going to be pissed. I had promised to do better this term.
I always preferred to walk home after school instead of taking the bus. I always walk slowly, observing everything while going home. Its always the same thing every time but each day, I see something different when I walk past. I notice the old Latina woman who always preferred yelling at people than talking to them, I notice the young cobbler who is always sad as his wife cheats on him constantly because of his financial situation and he is a coward to deal with the situation. I notice the young boys on the streets playing football with reckless abandon, totally ignoring the cars that zoomed by with high speed. I notice the silly guy fondling some ignorant girl shamelessly in public.
My house was the grey old building that stood out with its tattered walls and the untidy bush that had begun to constitute a nuisance. This is where I lived most of my life with my mother. My father left when I was only a child with some stripper girl he believed he was in love with. My mom worked between three jobs. In the morning, she was a waitress in a diner, in the afternoon she worked as a babysitter for the Jones children, and in the night as a cleaner in an insurance firm. With these, we were able to eat, and I was able to go school and all. I loved her dearly and I didn’t want to get her upset. I knew the school had called to complain of my behavior at school. I prepared myself for some serious scolding. I took in a deep breath and entered the house. I almost collapsed. My mom was lying on the floor, unconscious. I screamed for help. I shook her violently. My mom left me that day. Alone. To face the world by myself. I hated myself for how I had messed up, how I always made her worried with my attitude towards life, I wish I made her proud somehow, repaid her for all she had gone through for me. There were plenty things I wanted to say. A lot I wanted to do. But it was so late. Now I had to grow up fast, face reality and leave my fantasy world behind. A hard life awaited me. One where I was only what I am. A poor orphan girl….

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