Thursday, 27 June 2013

"Can't We All Just Get Along?"

So the quiet has helped me coordinate my thoughts and for the first time, I can write about the events of tuesday morning. I hate to look at the thing. It kills me to. That is what hurts me the most, not the constant pain the wound feeds me with. Tuesday I cried, shouting at the Universe. I think she doesn't like me. Sometimes. I think I've annoyed her. For asking too many questions perhaps? Or for being independent maybe? "Can't We All Just Get Along?" I asked in tears as I made my way to the health centre. I haven't reacted to the accident since then. People think I'm mad when I tell them my story smiling. Well the story is crazy. So my story and I have that in common. I've learnt one thing from this episode. I am strong. Stronger than I ever thought I was. I look into the mirror and I cannot recognize the face staring at me. There are days like the ones I'm going through now. Days you look into your own eyes and discover colors you never imagined in them. Days you need to remember you, and that you are stronger than you know. This is when you find beauty in your scars and hold them up as medals of victory. It is now I feel I look most beautiful. 'Sometimes' is not 'everytime' I've realized. It's not everytime that I am quiet, sad and depressed. Most of you think it's who I am. Sometimes I feel. A lot. Enough to absorb the feelings of others as my own. Sometimes I don't feel. Times like this I become numb and distant. Sometimes I think too much. Other times I stare into space with nothing on my mind. Sometimes I'm confused. Sometimes I'm certain of what I feel. Sometimes i understand too much. Other times I don't understand at all. It goes on. I'm more than what you think I am. More than what I think I am. Going through this has made me believe that. For those who still have not heard my story, I sat on a hot iron that was on my bed and burnt my right butt. It's crazy. I know right?

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