Feeling beautiful things for the first time can be confusing
It always feels like its the only time, like that is the only person
that will ever love you
So you become silent, you settle, accept whatever, make excuses
Tinu was silent through an abusive relationship
Bola settled for being Alhaji's mistress
Ronke accepted the disrespectful insulting words of her husband even in front of their guests on his 50th birthday celebration
Ayo made excuses for her husband, when he came home late, drunk and reeking of another woman.
The first time isn't the last time, so do not hold on to someone who doesn't love you enough, respect you enough.
Some of us, have never really felt love, joy, pure attention, real connection.
To some of us, life is a wilderness, loneliness is family
Some of us have spent years, waiting to feel our hearts flutter
Waiting to be called someone else's
Sometimes we blame ourselves, make ourselves feel less of a person
undesirable, unloved, not wanted.
Being in a world and meeting nothing that wants you can do that to you
Sometimes when you're at the edge of your own cliff, all you really need is a long deep weep in the arms of someone you love,
someone who loves you enough to hold you and understand
Your 21'st birthday wish was to find love, for someone to touch you in those places, for someone to even want to
You wonder how empty 25 years can be and how the fuck can someone go 25 years without being touched, without being loved like that?
Please, be gentle and patient with yourself
These feelings you haven't felt yet, give them time, they are almost here.