Thursday, 4 April 2013
Love and Fear.
I lie here singing along in my strangled voice to the bittersweet melodies with lyrics like knives stabbing hard at my chest. I know what I feel, I'm just scared to say it out loud. I see my heart fall deep into this bottomless pit and I stare helpless, unable to save it. I'm only alive when you hold me, when your fingers lace through mine. I heard there's no cure for this disease. Not even death. The ones that live with it become living shadows that roam aimlessly, lost in this wicked world till they become forgotten. I want to pick my shoes and run but I feel paralyzed when I stare into your eyes. Like a spell they hold me bound and instead I fall deeper. I'm trying to find myself, find peace, silence in the midst of the voices screaming in my head. I feel cold and my heart shivers from the fear of the pain that it has not known. I still choose you though. I choose uncertainty. To live in this temporary happiness. We are all museums of fear, with love being the only solace left for us to hide. The knowledge that during the darkness of the night, we are not alone.