"I don't know how to miss you", she began.
She sighed deeply.
"So don't leave me."
She didn't know how to make him understand. The distance between them was growing, lesser words each day and she lay awake at night wondering why she couldn't just call him and cry everything out. Tell him that sometimes she felt like she was choking and struggling to breathe and other times she wanted to give up and not fight anymore. How her whole world was crumbling and he is the only thing she is struggling to save. How she wanted him to talk to her about the reason for the anxiety she saw in his eyes. How she would lay awake and worry for him.
"What if I told you words weren't enough.
Or if I said that merely telling you that I'm lost whenever you go
Is just a bit of something way bigger.
That I cannot imagine a tomorrow without you."
She stood there staring at him with her heart in her helpless eyes.
She remembered how she set him apart.
The way she loved so much it hurt, cut her into two and shattered her inside.
How whenever he was around, she would sparkle and laugh and warmth flowed through her
She shivered now, as the waves of these emotions washed over her again.
How she wrapped her life around his light skin and his thick black afro. How she carved his name to her heart ignoring common reason. How her heart had refused to forget him even when she wanted to leave. And each time her nights knew loneliness, her body would thirst after him.
She shifted fidgeted nervously with her fingers and feet, unable to explain her insane feelings.
How he told her he loved her and the words lingered around to haunt her even as she felt him leaving her.
She burst into tears.