Sunday, 9 February 2014


  1. It takes patience to endure, to understand, and to contain whatever that happens in a marriage.
  2. “One thing I’ve discovered in this marriage thing is that blood is thicker than love. Maintain a good relationship with your siblings; they would have your back no matter what. If I want a straight forward advice I go to Vickie or Helen, not my husband. I mean, you can marry a man today, give him your life, your devotion, your everything, and one day he wakes up to leave, and you’ll be alone, with his kids to cater for”.
  3. A marriage that has God as its foundation will never fail.
  4. Marriage, for some girls is the highest accomplishment, bearing your man children makes you a complete woman, keeping your home and your marriage together, is another ball game.
  5. You cannot depend on love to sustain a marriage.
They were in love when they had gotten married. They had been in love since they were in the university. The kind of love that convinces you to get married. They were both yorubas, so it was not a problem, their parents had known each other. It was a blessed union. I think their love died the moment Mrs. Adewuji transformed from the slender figure she once was when they had gotten married into an enormous being, with extra-large hips and folds everywhere. Having five kids does that to you I guess. Her husband felt pain, that what he paid bride price for years ago was gone. He thought about it every night when she came to bed and occupied most of the space or how their bed sank in when she lay on it. She never stopped eating though. She fried chicken and consumed two wings while just making the food. So he chose to work longer hours to make it bearable to deal with a marriage he no longer wanted. That was when he began to notice his secretary, Anita who was slender and light skinned, her skin glowed under the florescent of the office. Anita was nice; she wore tight shorts skirts and dresses to show off her good legs, she let him have a good view of her cleavage and bent down a lot till he felt he could almost see his target. He would never cheat on his unattractive wife still but Anita came on to him that night and he found himself slamming into her while she was bent on his table. It was the most amazing thing that had happened to him in a long time. They went on like this, he would have her on his desk the way he wanted, they would have drinks and laugh about everything, he would organize business trips to have them go away together till he wanted to have the life he had with her permanently. He left his wife and five kids to move in with Anita and never looked back. He blames his wife to this day for the failure of their marriage.

              THE OKAFORS.
Mr. Okafor was a wealthy man and an elder in the church. The early morning and night devotions in his house were compulsory. He didn’t joke with matters concerning the spiritual life of his family. Like the time he stripped his daughter naked and lashed her repeatedly in the front of the rest of the family for bringing shame to his name because she was texting in church and was told by an usher to put away her phone.  Mrs. Okafor was the head of the women’s union in the church, she encouraged women devote more time to God and He would take care of their marriages, her marriage being a wonderful example. Their new maid Ndidi was a catholic always praying her rosary even in her sleep. Her voice was the loudest whenever they had devotions, singing almost aggressively and dancing till she was sweating profusely. She sang in the same way, but a different song when Mr. Okafor was fucking her. For a Christian girl she knew how well God commanded a woman to please a man, whining provocatively on Mr. Okafor. She had the most wonderful body beneath her big clothes and skirts, the first time Mr. Okafor instructed her to take her clothes off, his mouth went dry as he watched her unveil the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. So during Mrs. Okafor’s women’s’ church meetings, her husband helped himself with their sizzling maid till she got pregnant with his child. The expression on Mrs. Okafor’s face was second to none when the maid confessed that it was her husband, not some area boy, not the driver or the gate man that had impregnated her.

Getting married at 35 was perceived to be different sorts of wrong. A girl at that point would be seen as a failure. It had taken her so long to find love, to get married. Her mother had said all sorts of things to her back then and somehow, Mrs. Ogah wanted to go back to that time just so she would never have gotten married. A woman is blamed for so many things, topping the list is when she cannot bear children.  She had gone to every church, drank all sorts of potions to make her womb fertile for her husband’s seed. She thought about whether she ever really wanted a child or she just wanted to disappoint everyone and prove she was woman enough to have her own child. She knew there was the emptiness in her marriage, the number of words her husband spoke to her reduced daily.  He wouldn’t even touch her, there was no use wasting his semen on a barren woman. Her in-laws stormed into her home occasionally to ridicule her and call her names.  She couldn’t dare to return home, her mother would have a fit. So she stayed and endured. He started drinking. Maybe to forget he was married to her, she couldn’t tell. She tried to please him. She prepared the most delicious meals for him, meals he didn’t bother eating.  He just ignored her, went about the house like she was not even there. The silence drove her to madness. The kind of madness that gave her the courage to confront him. And that was when he released everything he had stored up inside on her. The hatred, resentment and anger.  She tried feebly to protect herself from his blow. He left her unconscious on the ground in the pool of her own blood.  He chased her out of his house that week and brought in the village girl his mother married for him.

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