The Doll Diaries

I take deep breaths
i feel my insides bursting
i want to explode
i can contain no more of this
my heart is too weak to absorb anymore pain
i feel my willpower give way
i am tired
fuck this. i just need to go home
i need to be fine for my parents
they didn't birth this damaged child
this bitterness that has become of me
i can hardly remember who i was before all this
happiness has become alien to me
is this love?
constant hurt and depression?
i feel myself sink deeper into nothingness.
My heart digs deeper into her surroundings
shielding herself from the pain she'll receive
ribs weak and defenseless
i hold my chest
i feel my heart sore from all the bleeding
im half mad everyday for you
im close to losing it
tearing at my hair and screaming out loud
no one deserves this
Love is about having someone to hold your hand
to love despite anything, everything
But this love is the time i have felt most alone.