Wrote this during TTG.

I miss Shisha.i need to feel light headed again. I want to dance to those stupid Nigerian songs with meaningless lyrics with an air of reckless abandon. I need to stare at  the world without seeing the many things wrong with it. I want to live, even if it would be for a moment. I need to feel numb again and let my body ignore that familiar ache in my chest. my long days have begun. Those unbearable moments that would seem like forever. And this is my only solace, the little comfort my heart could find. So Im letting my pen run freely on these lines, spit out the untamed words so you can understand the sorrow beneath them. The sadness that has blinded me from seeing any meaning to this life. So I'm just here existing. Hoping for the day when the good things will come. Have my  lover pull hard at my hair when we make love so I know I'm not dreaming. I can hear words jump around in my head, each one begging to be noticed, begging to be expressed. A time will come when I would do the things Ive got no control of. For I feel the urge to cause havoc on the world that has caused me pain. So hear this my unspoken plea and let me loose to this temporary high. Let me get drunk on my frustrations and smoke out my fears. Let me become that invincible being you have always imagined me to be. Give me purpose, a reason to stop singing the same old sad song of the lovers that I have lost. I don't need to pass through the hell that is these two weeks to soar like an eagle in the skies.