A Girl's Thirst.

You were finally where you belonged. In my dreams. Where my fantasies come to me. You were mine there, and it was so beautiful. So beautiful I cried. There, you knew my name. In my dream, I put a spell on you. I liked the twinkle in your eyes and the fact that you looked at me a little longer than you did in our world. You held me close and whispered promises of love and wonderful forevers. You sang lyrics of love songs to me while you kissed the nape of my neck. I still feel that tingle thinking about it. I love you anyhow. I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now. Its a shame that I see you everyday and all you do is breeze past like you don't even know I'm there. I hate that. It kills me inside. I hate that you think me to be a child. Being twenty isn't being a child. Girls grow up way too fast in our world these days, at thirteen, they aren't children anymore. I started bleeding years ago. I could have your babies. Mini you's everywhere, running around if you want . Don't you notice how woman I am? I do not have the body of a girl no more. I think of how to look sexy every morning for you, just so you'd notice, its frustrating sometimes.  I feel like a filthy whore. You make me feel dirty. The way I try so much to get your attention. Bending down this way cause I know you're passing by.  I'm full of hormones for you. I'm so empty and so full of thirst. That makes me almost desperate. I cry inside when I think of all the sexy girls you may have been spending your cold nights with. But I'm smiling today because now I know all of that is going to change soon I guess. I see us together, going on dates. I see you making me laugh. Alot. You're happy too with me. You just don't know how beautiful our tomorrow is yet. So when you walked in today, I put something extra in my smile and forced myself to say more than the ceremonial "good morning" to you. You smiled back. And that was enough. Maybe it wasn't. But it's all Ive got for now.