Get Used To Living In Hell.

Embrace life as it comes to you
Make Love to every sickening second of it
Let your life pass before you in slow motion
Live every moment
Laugh at your woes and misfortunes
Caress hurt in her face
Let fear have your heart in her cold hands
Be a friend of the darkness
Know your sorrow intimately
Lick away your tears
Maybe, just maybe
If we let the worst come to us
If we take in all the bad
It would become part of us
Then maybe it wont hurt so much
Look evil right in the face
And dine with the devil
Live our lives so well
That death will tremble to take us.....

The Story Behind My Smile by Anonymous.

A Friend wrote this when I pressed on why he wasn't happy often. I decided to share for others who its directed to and  who are close to him and other people who can relate to this.

My smile. Its genuine. It will never let you hurt because I am. My smile is beautiful. To pull it off without missing a beat despite my whole world in shit is a phenomenal task. My smile is a masterpiece
But behind that smile is tears. Real nigga tears. Tears of Blood. Tears born from pain. Tears that make the hurt worse because crying and being that weak is unacceptable. I cry because I can see it all. Because when these people I love are desperate to be part of my life I won't be accommodating. But I smile because of the ones that hurt me the most. I smile because they must smile, even when they hurt me. I will smile because I can't bare to see them cry. Behind my smile is a life plagued with betrayal. I bend backwards and most times break to see them smile. But I break and no ones cares enough to help fix or tend to my injuries. I'm never what they want, and when I change for them I'm no longer who I was, a perpetual circle of inadequacy. Today I write without the grace of the skilled writer I am. Fuck my art, and Fuck your opinions. Today I share with you all of my heart, and even if you hate my writing, you will acknowledge these emotions. One way or the other. So get angry, be sad, be happy be whatever. You have already shared in this pain. Behind my smile is health challenges, a tumor and potential heart failure to go with it. Behind it is a life that will be spent on medication and uncertainty. Behind my beautiful smile is a struggle to forgive my family. To forgive their insensitivity, to forgive mistakes they made that forever changed my life. Behind my smile is a pain, because I know others have it worse than I do. Pain because I can see how ungrateful I am. Pain because I'm a bad person and I'm selfish. Behind my smile is a pain, real pain from people who have tried to kill me, pain from the scars and the bullet wounds. Pain because one day when I might be killed in front of my daughter, or my family will know pain because of me. There's more pain. Pain because I love you and you throw it back at me. Pain because I love you and you and you. Pain because I see you in pain in the future, and despite the depths I go to to prevent that, your naivete has blinded you to reason. Pain because I can't feed the dying child on the street, or bring the husband of that wailing woman back to life. Pain because the people I love die, and I can't do anything to save them, and no one cares to wipe these tears. Pain because I can't be understood, and everybody always points to my inadequacies. LoL fuck it my pain is real, and it lies behind every smile, and every single "I'm fine". Pain because I'm all alone in this world, with nobody to lean on really, left to hurt and get injured and heal and lift myself back up. Pain because the burden of doing it alone is overwhelming. Pain because I'm grateful that God trusts me so much, but then the burden of that trust must be felt. But then behind my smile is pain, and behind my pain is greatness. The greatness that makes me able to bear the pain. A greatness that not many possess. A greatness that begs me to forgive you all. A greatness that is God's goodness. A greatness neither one of us can ignore. This goodness is My Pain, My Smile and My Greatness.

Open Letter by @Dam_Xo

I am writing to you as a concerned Nigerian nineteen year old. After having visited your website, I find it disconcerting that there is scant mention of Nigerian literature there as with is the case with many Nigerian entertainment sites in general. Your entertainment-based website does not cater to an essential form of entertainment which is literature. It is also clear that the majority of popular Nigerian entertainment sites from pulse.ng, ynaija to 360nobs.com mainly consist of pictures and updates about celebrity events, popular music and fashion. I understand this is an important form of entertainment; however, what I don’t understand is the neglect of literature in our entertainment media. It is disheartening that the majority of our lifestyle and entertainment websites do not consider writing as important enough to be represented or suitable as topics for discussion, similarly negligent are student-focused sites such as campusheathq.com, which is entirely devoid of literary content. Meanwhile, many Nigerian blogs make no effort to reference a literary culture across Africa; the majority of them would rather focus on gossip, fashion, music and more superficial showbusiness elements that are pleasing to the senses, while there is scarcity of information to provoke thoughts and develop innovative thinking patterns among the youth.

If young minds are introduced to the world to question the status quo and prepare for new social beginnings, surely young people should be exposed to a variety of interests; this is however not the situation in Nigeria where edifying and stimulating content such as literature is harder to access. It makes one wonder what options are being presented to the Nigerian youths, to support their growth into well rounded adults. We ought to question how many young Nigerians are being adequately exposed to literature on social media. We need not ask about the void of literature in our society; it is obvious in our everyday lives, when we walk on the streets and when we shop at the markets the absence is reflected back at us. Do you ever wonder why book clubs are hard to come by even in universities? Does it occur to you that many young people have little or no knowledge about Nigerian contemporary literary stars well known abroad? When you mention authors like Teju Cole, Chika Unigwe, Nnedi Okorafor, Sefi Atta, Chinelo Okparanta and so on, people look at you with a blank incomprehension. Outside of tiny cliques in Lagos and Abuja, where are our well-read youths and future leaders busting with ideas to share news about the latest book they are reading?

As Nigerians we have failed to understand the importance of literature in facilitating knowledge of history and stimulating a collective imagination adequate to the problems we face. We constantly strive to emulate countries like the United States and the UK, but we don’t emulate properly, after all true knowledge demands we filter what we observe and practice what we have learnt. What have we learnt about literature? Have we realised that the US owes the fundamentals of its democracy to the French enlightenment philosophers who wrote books on rights and freedom? We neglect our own “enlightenment philosophers” at our peril.

It is for the above reasons I am writing to you, to ask that more attention be paid to our writer’s ability to nourish and stir our emotions. We should pause and ask ourselves what types of leaders we are raising; are they to become philistines with no bookshelf or digital library at hand to guide their thinking? Are you happy with the reality that our young only care for fashion, music and Nollywood gossip? Literature offers a myriad of choices to us, clarifying our thoughts while at the same time transporting us to familiar and unfamiliar destinations; literature can help us albeit temporarily to escape from the ills of the society at the same time providing vital lessons, expanding the reach of our words and our minds. In a society where we have online videos of governors testing primary school teachers on their reading skills (and ending with a #epicfail), it should be important to us that we are not the next targets for embarrassment.

In conclusion, I would like to thank you for taking the time out to read this letter. I hope you are persuaded on the importance of literature in our society and that I was able to stimulate you to create a literature section on your entertainment blog. It will cost you nothing, and only serve to enhance and expand your existing offering. It will also give you the added advantage of catering to a wider and more varied audience. How better to show your commitment to entertainment than by promoting all aspects of human creativity?

I eagerly await your response, and hope dearly that we can look forward to the time when literature is as valued as other forms of creative expression already well represented in our society.

Thank you.

Damola Fakunle, Age 19.

20, August 2013.

The night was alot of things. Wild. Dirty. Naughty. Dark. She made her way through the crowd and the stench of whatever evil that filled the air. Her friends sat in a corner, one up, dancing loosely catching the attention of the stranger at the other end of the room. They were all drunk. All of them but her. Something about the night didn't call to her. She needed her sanity to locate him She was almost sad already that he wasn't with her. She was horny all through the drive here, thinking of the bad things he would do to her. She was so ready to be defiled, so ready it  hurt. She was frustrated now searching for him. Everyone else had given into the intoxicating air of hormones, alcohol and weed. Their bodies humping each other lustfully to the music. She sighed hopefully. She was nearly devastated with her dead phone. She knew the night was going to waste away. Deep down inside she knew. Just like everyone there. She came here for him. She wanted to leave. She looked at her friends. Some guy almost had his dick in one's mouth, apparently the others found it hilarious. One was silently making out with a face she did not recognize. Her friends were not ready to leave just yet obviously. She decided to move around. Maybe find someone hot to dance with, someone to comfort her and make her forget her current frustration. She didn't have to move too far. She saw him. With her. They found a comfortable spot. Shamelessly satisfying their heat. Kissing her like his tongue was in her throat. His hands squeezing every part of her in the most disrespectful way. She snorted in disgust and left. Everywhere seemed to hurt all of a sudden. She finally got outside. She let her tears fall freely now as the evening breeze caressed her skin.

The best presents.

...I finally let out that first moan, throwing my head back, letting go. I grabbed the sheets struggling to at least maintain my balance and not fall off the edge of the bed where I was now. My lips were hurting, I probably bit it too hard. he was still there. I could feel it. It was probably all I felt. The pleasure. The pleasure sang and I felt my body whine in response. His tongue, stoking my clit did that to me. My ragged breaths were not enough. I was a woman on heat and this was my release. I felt myself release the built up sexual tension. This was the best orgasm I had experienced in my twenty years of existence. I was moist and still wanting more. His tongue left the feminine vee of my legs to torture the other parts of my body. I held him close, murmuring senseless words and  his mouth now suckled on my right nipple. We had been like this for two days now. We had been everywhere in the house like this. The kitchen, the swimming pool, the sitting room, on the washing machine in the laundry room. This was probably the only time we used the bed. His tongue trailed downwards again. I felt my body tremble, the pleasurable shivers that shot through my body. He lay me down on the bed. Face down I was, while he massaged my neck, back and behind with oil, kissing every part with his mouth as he went along.This was my graduation present. The apartment, the sex, the food and I loved every bit of it. Today was our last day alone and we were trying to do things right. Do it on a bed. I felt his hands shaking as he massaged my bum again. He was obviously fighting hard to control himself. He pulled me up to him as his lips claimed mine. His tongue teasing mine, his lips warm and soft. I let my fingers run down his face, trace his muscular arms, his middle, pulling him closer to me. I felt his control snap. I smiled at him with heavy eyes. My turn. I pushed him back to the bed. I saw his astonished face as I led him inside of me slowly. I wanted to do this my way, let him know he had taught me well. Let him feel the pleasure I could give. So I sat on top of him, moving at my own slow pace, grinding and whining with him inside of me, sending ripples down my spine. He leaned up and pushed himself deeper inside of me. I felt him occupy all of me in the sweetest way. We moved to our rhythm, the one we both magically understood till we rode to the heights of heaven together, finding pleasures and extremes we never knew existed. I screamed your name when I came. I felt you there too. You grabbed my hair and I heard your loud grunt. Then we fell back exhausted on the sheets.....

Sunday, 18 August.

Take a deep breath
Let the waves of calm wash over you
Feel your nerves relax
What you fear does not exist
It is we who create the monsters that torment us
In our minds, in our minds
Some of us die without living.
Look at life
Like a painting
See how beautiful it looks all wrong and rough
Smile at every little thing
Find happiness even in silliest of things
You need the laughter
You need to laugh at Life.
Do not let life overcome you
With sorrow, sadness or hurt.
Find love in the purest of places
Love yourself, love living.
You may not be perfect
But know the beauty in imperfection
You are beautiful darling, in one too many ways
You feel out of place because you see things different
They call you werid, crazy misfit
They are just words
You're most beautiful in your madness
Its raining now outside
But you can overcome
If only you can rise above it all
Their burdening gossip and the heaviness of the rain
If only you can laugh through it all
Then and only then
You have truely lived.

Midnight rantings.

I have no strength to gather my thoughts together
So have them as they are
Untamed and flying around.....

Too much of you around to remind me of how bad you hurt me
I let you mess with my head
For a little longer
Telling myself I was still safe somehow
That I hadn't let you get to me, get to me much
There's no excuse for being full of excuses
I just needed you to stick around just a little longer
I let me forget myself, a little too much
And I let your scent lead me to nowhere
Now I'm lost and I need to remember
Who I am
How I got to this place
You hold my hand but I see you on the other side
On the other side of the water with that other girl
I remember how I always felt cold
I was cold because you were busy keeping her warm
Now I'm drowning in my regrets
My thoughts are eating me
As there are no remedies for memories.
And nights like this
Sleep has refused to know me
She would rather sit and watch me with mocking eyes
Watch me bleed for love.
I'm safest by myself
But I fear my empty bed and the long nights
Now I don't care if you love me
Or you think you do
I'm going to wander off
Chasing my own scent this time
And let Life happen for me
Find myself and my rebellion
I'm tired of singing your song
I can still feel you touching me
Your cold hands like death
Begging me to return
Telling me you own me
But baby this is where our story ends
I will let my heart soar
High enough
And the one I never thought will come
The one that would give me the world
The one that will make me his everything
Will come.