Hope for Today

When death feels close, when the thirst seems most unbearable, when the pain and the tears have become familiar friends. Remember hope where you left her. Remember she can keep you strong till you reach the place you thought only existed in your dreams, where there is green grass at the waterside. The darkness would flee, the hurting would cease. There would be no dry grounds and light and laughter would come to stay.

It hurts to love someone and then find out ure not enough
i still held on to you like glue
my own way of flying to my heart's defense
with all the courage and all the will power i could muster
this was my heart, i had to protect it
but then again,
it wasn't enough
last night i lay on my lonely bed
staring at the bare wall
that mocked with images of a failed life
years of un returned love
a past dark from hurt and pain
reminding me of the salty taste
of the everyday dose of my tears

13 February 2013

Just like the flower, Queen of the night

I feel my heart like her leaves open up to you once more

I feel the high walls I had spent years building

Crumbling down

I feel myself bare it all shedding all apparel of pride

Standing naked with all my flaws and shame

Pink and bruised

My many scars cannot be hidden

And still bleed from being cut deep

With pleading eyes, begging for you to accept me.

My hearts silently praying

As she cannot endure any more pain

Its like I'm falling in love again

That’s if the feeling ever ceased

I feel my heart blossom

I feel it fall deeper than before

Its like I need you to breathe

And there’s no life without you

Nights without you seem the longest

Our love can be beautiful

Like the fairytales with happy endings

Just let me

Just forget everyone else

Close your eyes

They don’t exist.

If only the world understood what we have

If only loving someone was everything

If only people would not condemn us so

I would make you mine

I would love you till our time sands run out

Even much after

Put you on a pedestal and worship you for years

Let my tongue adorn each bit of your skin

Let my mouth send sweet messages to it

Write a hundred love songs that sing of your beauty

Let my eyes tell you the unsaid words of my heart

Our road is different, our journey is unique

Trails of tears, hurt and pain follow us

As broken promises linger in our minds

And even now greater obstacles than the past confront us

But I can be strong for us two

If only you would hold my hand

And say yes to our forever.

I take deep breaths
i feel my insides bursting
i want to explode
i can contain no more of this
my heart is too weak to absorb anymore pain
i feel my willpower give way
i am tired
fuck this. i just need to go home
i need to be fine for my parents
they didn't birth this damaged child
this bitterness that has become of me
i can hardly remember who i was before all this
happiness has become alien to me
is this love?
constant hurt and depression?
i feel myself sink deeper into nothingness.
My heart digs deeper into her surroundings
shielding herself from the pain she'll receive
ribs weak and defenseless
i hold my chest
i feel my heart sore from all the bleeding
im half mad everyday for you
im close to losing it
tearing at my hair and screaming out loud
no one deserves this
Love is about having someone to hold your hand
to love despite anything, everything
But this love is the time i have felt most alone.